your room smells of hookers.
And success
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
