If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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