There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
