I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
