It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
