I love black thongs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
