You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
then he tried to convert me to islam
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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