how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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