hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
