YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Someone came in the potted fern
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
