you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
