and next time when you feel me up, do it right
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
