You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
