You work out of a Hotel?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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