drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
