just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
