You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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