I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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