Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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