She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
