You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
