I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
