do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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