So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm passing your future prison.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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