Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
