dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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