and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
