Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I had to cum in my sink.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
