# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
