Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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