I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
