I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
