Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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