At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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