yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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