why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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