Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
