Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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