We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
