And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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