you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i think my cat just said my name.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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