Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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