Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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