dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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