All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
