I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
