I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
