I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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