Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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