Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
