The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
